"I want to know what you ache for..."

"I believe that you came into this life with a deep inner knowing of what you were here to do, and an inner guidance system to make it happen." △ Rebecca Campbell

 

I have been reading some of the most transformational books, and I truly believe they're coming at an important point in my life. (Above: milk and honey by Rupi Kaur; Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, and Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell). Don't you love when words remind you of yourself? These three books, among many others, are doing just that for me.

 

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There's a poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer that I'm often reminded of called The Invitation (it's a fantastic little book that I think everyone needs to have in their arsenal). I'm tempted to just post the entire poem because of it's deep affect on me, but I'll quote one line: "It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away."  

I've been thinking lately of sustenance, of intellectual nourishment, of our light within. I'm a Type-A personality, a perfectionist, and can be quite critical of myself. Hell, the first question I asked when beginning nursing school was: "Exactly how hard is it to get A's...?" From the start, I was hard on myself. I put myself through so much stress and anxiety, but I got some of those A's. And then one day, I realized...do they really matter?

 

I love nursing. I love helping to heal others. I hope you find your career to be pleasing, as well. I hope you are proud of your accomplishments. But my question is this...

Strip away these titles we have, remove our labels, our accomplishments and failures. Take away our hours of hard work, our money, our homes, our roles and responsibilities. Take away our mental illnesses, our medical issues, all of our flaws and those things we are proud of. Destroy the good and the bad, how far we've come, how far we wish to go.

 

When all these things disappear...what remains? What light within is exposed? What words linger, what encompasses your core? What sustains you, when all else falls away?

I once read somewhere that in order to figure out what your soul's purpose is, you must imagine yourself as a child. Society has not yet touched the mind of a child or brainwashed them into believing money is more important than passion or creativity or love.

Poetry, writing, reading...these things have always sustained me. In my darkest moments, as well as in my brightest, I've always somehow found the words--whether my own or not. I know that in order to truly make a difference in my career and in the lives of others, I must bring these things that sustain me to the surface. I must feed these passions, this creative beast (or mermaid) within. I must acknowledge this inner knowing, expose it, and live it. What thing will you bring to the party?