Monday, October 28, 2013

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

We're in some pretty awesome times, people. I'm not speaking politically, socially, culturally; I don't bother myself with these. I'm talking personally. I feel like after high school, we're just trotting along and then WHAM-- we hit a brick wall going 85. Life wakes you up. It shouts in your face and says, "YO, GET WITH IT BITCH". (For all you fellow Breaking Bad fans, yes, I was channeling my inner Jesse.)

There's this journey that starts, once we awaken to it. For some, it may be during high school, which I would say is extremely rare. Who the hell knows what they want out of life when they're 16, 17? All I wanted when I was 17 was a beer and a blunt and my best friends there for the ride (which were often dangerous. Think about it seriously and with a good chuckle--what the hell were we thinking?!) For most, the actual journey begins in our twenties--and once it starts it does not quit.

I'm not sure where you are in your own journey of self-exploration, self-affirmation, self-discovery, self-whatever but I do feel like with each passing year, each passing decade, the journey changes focus. I'm in the "start" of my life... I've begun the processes of examining myself existentially and yet I can't say I have much experience in much of anything, but I do have a grasp of where I want to go. I'm starting to outline those things, highlight my goals and aspirations, whom I want there and whom I do not. It's so crazy to look back on where I was a year ago, two years ago, three. I don't aim to understand why certain things have happened to me, but I do aim to understand how they have affected me and my course, my journey. It hasn't always been a beautiful one, but I think I'm starting to realize the importance of events and be grateful for where I am now; stronger and still growing. It's even crazier to look ahead and realize where I will be a year from now, two years, three.

Think about your life. Think about where you were a few years ago compared to today and where you plan to go. Change is not inevitable, especially for those refusing to accept their journey, who deny their importance to grow and become better. I'm sure we've all said at some point,"She'll/He'll/They'll never change". Instead of blaming others for their lack of recognizing the ability to change, lets pat ourselves on the back for having the courage to. Our journey insists we change, grow, expand, be better than we were yesterday. I've accepted this journey, and thus am changed. It is scary sometimes, and if you're as stubborn as I am, there will be friction felt. Ease into it. Accept it. Follow whatever your heart and soul is leading you towards and trust your instincts. I wish you all well on your journey, I hope you all find what you seek, and maybe we'll cross paths along the way to share what we've learned.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Things don't have to be complicated... but they are.

I always see posts about things not having to be complicated while I'm looking for inspiration and words of wisdom on social media. (Which is maybe our first problem.)

Things don't have to be complicated...
  • just be yourself (who is that, even?)
  • do what you love (I doubt eating would make a good career)
  • smile :) (why?)
  • pray (how?)
  • meditate (how?)
  • blah blah on and on
If things don't have to be complicated--and I'm using deductive reasoning here-- then things, or life should be easy... simple.

My question then, is why are so many people medicated for depression and anxiety? Why, if life is simple, do people commit suicide and harm others or themselves? Why are more and more people seeking out other forms of health care to add to their daily elixirs? Why the sharp and almost desperate increase in more holistic and Eastern remedies and fitness routines?

Maybe things don't HAVE to be complicated. But they are. We are a living, breathing, thinking organism and we are full of complications. Take your own personal brain chemistry, your own cellular energy, your own preferences, your own experiences, the things you love and the stuff you  dislike, the horrible events that have happened to you, the wonderful ones that have changed you, the people around you. There is a whole MEDLEY of things in our life that add to complicate. We aim to understand, because we are a living, breathing, thinking, learning organism. We want to understand why things happen to us. Why do we deserve this life, why don't we? We wager and bargain and justify and deny and we think, think, think.  We complicate.

And when we're trying to live simply and detangle our lives, and something goes wrong, we beat ourselves up or get more confused about how to live, further complicating things.

Things don't have to be complicated, but they are. And maybe for good reasons. If life was not complicated, we wouldn't feel that pang of sadness we get sometimes late at night or that sense of accomplishment after years of hard work. We wouldn't be able to sit with our emotions, good or bad, and feel them--truly feel them. We wouldn't ask ourselves important questions--about God, the universe, ourselves. If life was not complicated, we wouldn't know what it is to be in love. If life had an easy fix, there would be no reason for our brains, our awareness, our thoughts, our bodies.

Life is simply complicated, as are most things that go with it. Don't complicate things further by trying to understand or fix it. Let it be complicated. Because the most complicated situations in your life will teach you the most simple lessons. And those lessons are the answer.